Listen up, Boomerboys. You're going to get a first stage on why it is that Candid the Pizza Conveyance Fellow is at the center point of your social life.
You're accessible. Prepared, willing, and so forth. Also, you're finished with weekends that suck. So why wouldn't you be able to get a date? All things considered, you're wise, articulate, and extremely nice looking. You're not a terrible catch for a fellow more than 50.
You know this on the grounds that your mother says as much. (All the more on that in a moment.)
What Mother isn't letting you know is this: You're making some lethal bumbles with ladies, botches that your mom cherishes you an excessive amount to call attention to. (Either that, or she's completely abandoned you.)
Perhaps you're occupied with the adorable redhead who meets expectations at the nearby market, and you're equipping to ask her out. Here are the Main Ten reasons that she'll turn you down. On the off chance that any of these apply to you, then for pity's purpose, pull it together before you approach her:
1. You present yourself while wearing the "Ruler" Shirt that you wore for your secondary school yearbook pic - which all by itself is excessively irritating, on an excess of levels, to enough clarify here.
Don't wear the "Ruler" shirt. Ever.
Truly. Just... Don't.
2. You accept that the adorable redhead will be just as enraged at your spoiled, voracious squanderer of an ex as you seem to be.
Headsup, fellows: Nowadays, risks are that you're whining about your ex to... An ex.
3. Your most loved modifier rhymes with "schmuck" - which is the thing that you are whether you feel that a lady is positively inspired by a gentleman who needs his mouth pumped out by Septics-R-Us.
4. You have tufts of grayish hair (with odd-shaded stuff adhering to the finishes) distending from each unmistakable hole of your body, in light of the fact that you clearly accept that the Chia Pet look is schmuckin' hawt.
It's nawt. Get out the scissors and clean yourself up.
5. You imagine that nothing says "sentiment" like imparting the subtle elements of your troublesome prostate.
On the off chance that the lady you plan to date knows anything at about your medicinal issues, then she knows an abundant excess about your therapeutic issues - and she's going to decrease your welcome.
6. Your lager gut is hanging out over your cinch, and your "Ruler" Shirt isn't covering it.
Once more, just... Don't.
7. You clean out your nose. While she's talking. On a crunchy, grayish hankie that you pulled from your pocket.
At that point you analyze what's on it before you stuff it back in.
So hopefully you know, that sudden, peculiar look all over is on account of she's attempting to control her stifler reflex, and you recently lost whatever chance you had.
8. You list for her the majority of the reasons you can't discover a vocation - a rundown which incorporates everything and everyone except you - as you clarify why you'll require her to pay her own particular manner.
9. At that point you feel constrained to tirade about how women's activists and their "fairness" poop have decimated the way of life.
10. You live in your mother's cellar, and it doesn't trouble you. On the other hand Mother.
By any stretch of the imagination.
Also, In the event that you require a clarification of why that is an issue, then you should surrender, go turn on the television, and call Blunt the Pizza Conveyance Fellow. His weekend most likely sucks, as well.
Honor winning writer Jenna Streams is a Separation Mentor, a course educator, a reporter, and is the writer of the smash hit October Snow duology. Discover her online at http://jennabrooks.weebly.com/
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